The indomitable state of Georgia has been suffering a drought this year. A bad one, too. Now, this could be attributable to:
- Bad luck
- Global warming
- Having irrigation policy dictated by asshats
Or...
Of course. Why didn't I think of that? The good part about it is, it is easily fixed. All you need to do is have the governor trot out on the Capitol steps and lead a prayer service to pray for rain.
If you are in the United States and have not been following the news, or if you are overseas... I wish I was making this up as a functional parable, but the sad truth is that this is the sad truth. This Actually Happened. The duly elected governor of the sovereign state of Georgia walked out onto the steps of the state government's main edifice and led a random assload (that's a scientific term, don't worry about it) of Protestant Christians in a collective prayer in order to induce rain. In an inclusive ceremony, which of course included nothing but Protestant Christians. Some day, somewhere, somehow, somebody will have to explain to me how the word "inclusive" has ceased to mean what I always thought it did.
I think they missed several "inclusive" opportunities.
- I have it on good authority that there are people that can find water underground with nothing but a twig in tune with the earth's vibrations. Or something. Anyway, round up a few of those and simply tell them to point their devices at the sky...?
- Hello? A rain dance without Native Americans*?
For the record, it hasn't rained in Georgia yet.
You do the math.
* If you take this as a racist statement, you truly do need to get a life. Or a brain. Preferably both. See? I want the best for you.